2012년 5월 15일 화요일

eunwon 20120984

if i eat too much ice-cream
it could cause stomache and i could gain a weight... also maybe.. get a toothache too. so don't eat too much ice-cream:)

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  1. Prof. Trey2012년 5월 15일 오전 8:29

    You gave some effects of eating too much ice-cream, but you didn't actually write a paragraph...try again.

    You need:
    title
    topic sentence
    support - effects with details
    concluding sentence
    Also: you should capitalize the first word of each sentence and use punctuation at the end of each sentence.

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